Warning Really long. I just wanted to write what I felt and record this somewhere...
I was thinking today how blessed I am.
When I decided to start coming back to church, after my phase of inactivity, my life has been truly blessed. I NEVER stopped believing the gospel and everything the LDS church teaches. I was just curious and lazy. I didn't have to get up in the morning and go to church so I didn't, I slept in. I didn't stray from the path as much as most, but I got a good taste of what party life was like. But when I ended up standing in front of a judge, somewhere I never thought I would be, and paying a bunch of fines and going to court ordered classes I started thinking about my life. My best friend/roommate started going to church in the morning. Every week when she left I felt guilty. She started reading her scriptures and I couldn't bare to be in the same room because the guilt would eat me up inside.
One Sunday I woke up and wanted to hike to the wind caves. I ask Carolyn to go with me but she was going to church. I asked a couple other people and they where all going to church. So I went by myself. The mountains and nature have always been a spiritual place to me. I thought it was fitting to go on a Sunday.
I hiked to the top and after exploring I sat down and pulled out my little military size Book Of Mormon and started to read. I paused after awhile and looked at the gorgeous earth that God has given us. I watched a hawk soaring in the sky and some storm clouds start to roll in. Then it hit me, "The Gospel is True! You know it is True! You need to be living it!" ... came into my head. It is hard to describe but it felt like someone was saying it to me. Not in an audible voice, but in my head. Then I found myself saying to myself because I knew that it was true. It was the strongest feeling I had ever had up to that point in my life. And I couldn't get the thought out of my head. I thought about those words all the way down the mountain and home. And it stayed with me.
I knew that the thoughts in my mind where right and that I needed to do something about them. I needed to be living the gospel. It didn't happen over night, it took me awhile. I finally decided a few weeks later that I need to start going to church. We had a friend returning from his mission so I thought I would start by going to his homecoming. I firmly made the decision that after the homecoming I was going to continue to go to church every week.
The morning of the homecoming I got up and got ready and a few minutes before we left a horribly painful migraine hit me, out of nowhere. I wanted to stay home take a bunch of medicine, roll up in a ball in my bed, and just bawl....but I didn't. I know some people might not agree with me but I believe that Satan, Lucifer, or the Devil, whatever you want to call him, was the reason I had that headache. He knew I had set my mind to finally acting on and sticking to the prompting I had a few weeks earlier. I knew if I had an excuse, even if it was a really good one, to not go to church that day I would find an excuse not to go the next week and the next and so on. I HAD to go and I did! I was fighting back tears of pain but I went. I spent most of the meeting in the bathroom hurling my guts up in the toilet.(I hate throwing up! Anyone that knows me knows that if I am throwing up I am seriously really sick) I swiftly returned home to my bed after the meeting, but I went. I was determined not to let Satan win.
I have been blessed ever since. (Not that I wasn't blessed before) I started going to a singles ward with some friends and it was amazing. We went to all the activities that we could and got to know as many people as possible. We made so many new friends, some of which we are still friends with today. I re-learned that you don't have to go to a "party" to have a party and have fun. I have SO many good memories of that short time period in my life...
It was short because not long after I started going back to church my two roommates & I where talking about missions one night and entertained the idea of each of us going. We all signed up for a night institute class. The idea didn't go much farther then that with the other two. I however could not get the idea out of my head and it seemed like it was all around me. I discussed it with my dad and bishop. I hadn't prayed to know if that is what I should do because I was SO extremely scared of what the answer would be, because I felt I already knew what the answer would be. I was petrified to go on a mission. I HATE speaking in public, or saying prayers, or even reading a scripture in front of other people. I kid you not, in high school if I had to do an oral presentation I would skip that day and just hand it in later and take the grade cut. In middle school I won first place in the science fair and I was supposed to go to state. But I was "sick" that day because 1- I didn't want to wear a dress 2- I didn't want to stand by my project and tell people about it all day, I was too scared. (I still regret to this day not going to state). I didn't want to wear a dress for a year and a half. It was also a lot of change and responsibility that I didn't want to face.
I did finally pray about it and no surprise I felt like going on a mission is what I was suppose to do. So I started preparing.
My Dad had back surgery about that time and it didn't go well, in fact it made him worse. He couldn't work for a long time. It was over 6 months. My Mom had started selling their kitchen table and leather couches so they could pay the bills. There was no way they could pay for my mission and I didn't have any money. Singles wards don't send out missionaries and my home ward couldn't afford it. So I was faced with the reality that I probably wouldn't be able to go.
I was visiting my friends family with her and some other friends and her parents asked how my preparations on my mission where going. I told them my predicament.
Soon after they pulled me aside and offered to pay for my mission until my parents got back on their feet or the ward could find the funds. I was speechless, thinking what amazing people they where but there was no way I could take their money. Missions are really expensive! When I voiced my concern I was sweetly chastised. They told me "Don't deny us the blessing" I will never forget that. They taught me a great lesson that day. If I didn't let them help I would be denying them of blessings. My heart will always have a place for that whole family. They are the sweetest people I know.
But as fate would have it as I got ready to send in my papers my ward said they would be able to pay for my mission. I don't know why or how but I was just so grateful that I got to go.
Knowing that others where sacrificing to pay for my mission made me a very diligent and dedicated missionary. I did not want to waste those peoples money and I wanted God to know that I was grateful to them. It kept me strong on my mission. I hope to one day be able to help at least one missionary go on their mission so I can repay the love and sacrifice that was shone for me.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Warning Really long. I just wanted to write what I felt and record this somewhere...
Posted by Jana at 11:41 AM
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Posted by Jana at 9:38 PM
Rush started pulling himself up on the stairs
Keilei wanted to be in the picture, and be like Rush
He can pull himself up into sitting position. You know from laying on the floor to sitting up, all by himself!
He gets into the garbage! I tried to put it on a crate so it would be higher, that worked for Keilei, but he still gets into it.
Ya he loves eating paper and books just like Keilei did
Posted by Jana at 9:27 PM
Face of Defense: Eagle Scouts Soar in Intel Battalion
By Air Force Lt. Col. Ellen Krenke
National Guard Bureau
ARLINGTON, Va., July 29, 2010 The Utah National Guard's 141st Military Intelligence Battalion will deploy to Iraq in a few weeks with 83 soldiers who have earned Eagle Scout badges from the Boy Scouts of America.
The 286-member unit is in field training at its pre-mobilization site, Joint Base Lewis-McChord, Wash.
During a recent meeting with civilian employers, Price said, he asked all the Eagle Scouts in the room to stand. Almost half of his unit stood up. So during the next battalion formation, the Eagle Scouts were asked to stay behind for a group photo. That is when they counted off as 83 Eagle Scouts representing all ranks and many military occupational specialties.
The unit's senior noncommissioned officer, Army Command Sgt. Maj. Michael Lofland, is a scout master.
"We feel like [part of the] the scout program," Price said. "To me, the Scout Law is similar to Army values."
Price said he believes Robert Baden Powell, the founder of Boy Scouts, would be proud of his creation. "We're celebrating 100 years of Boy Scouting this year, and if he could look back and see what is going on, he would be quite happy."
In Iraq, the battalion will conduct human intelligence missions with Iraqi security forces. "We will be directly training and advising them how to do force protection," Price said.
Price said he appreciates the uniqueness of his citizen-soldiers. They are older and college educated, with more real-world experience as teachers and police officers, he noted.
"I am bringing a group of community leaders with me to Iraq," he said.
Price said his Eagle Scouts also bring additional skills to the Guard. "The Boy Scout program itself teaches young men to be men," he said. "You teach them values. . You are teaching them survivability skills. They are used to camping, and used to roughing it."
Eagle Scout is the highest rank attainable in the Boy Scouts. Since its introduction in 1911, the Eagle Scout rank has been earned by more than 2 million young men, according to published reports. The title is held for life.
Between the ages of 12 and 18, a Scout will work to achieve Eagle rank by earning 12 required merit badges and nine elective merit badges. He also must demonstrate "Scout Spirit" through the Boy Scout oath and law and through community service and leadership, which includes an extensive service project that the Scout plans, organizes, leads and manages.
Earning the Eagle Scout's badge was "the only thing I had done in my life that led me to think that I could make a difference; that I could be a leader," Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates told an estimated crowd of 45,000 gathered on 12,000 acres on Fort A.P. Hill, Va., as part of the annual National Scout Jamboree yesterday.
"It was the first thing I had done that told me I might be different, because I had worked harder, was more determined, more goal-oriented, more persistent than most others," Gates said.
Price said the key to scouting is service to others.
"To be able to protect yourself and your family but also look outwards and help others," he said. "These are different kinds of soldiers. They look beyond themselves. We are bringing a higher quality of citizen-soldier with us who is looking for ways to help other people."
Reference: Defense.gov News Article: Face of Defense: Eagle Scouts Soar in Intel Battalion
This was my reply:
That is awesome! I am glad you sent this to me!
My friends in high school, and still to this day, called me "The Boy Scout" because I was always prepared. I always had whatever we needed for whatever situation. Two months ago they gave me a poncho and a head lamp for my birthday and said it was fitting for their boy scout:)....Guess you rubber off on me!:)
This was an email I sent my older brother who is training to go to Iraq for a year, for the second time, and will be leaving in a month or so. I just wanted him to know I think he is amazing. That all soldier are!
I just realized that I don't think I have ever told you THANK YOU for
serving in the military. I truly do look up to you for what you do, and am
so grateful you are willing to do it. It blows my mind what you and your
family has to go through. You are so strong and I am PROUD of you big
brother. I miss you and hope that you remain safe in the coming year. You
will be in my prayers.
I love you
Your little sister,
Thanks for that. It means a lot. I love you too.
Hope the house is coming along, and that you all have a busy summer getting
things in order. It's a fun but frustrating time.
Just wanted to post this because I am proud of my brother.
Posted by Jana at 9:19 PM
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Posted by Jana at 2:47 PM
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Posted by Jana at 10:42 AM
Monday, July 26, 2010
Sean wouldn't let me take Rush to get his pictures done when he was newborn because it was RSV season. So we waited till he was 6 months and I splurged and didn't just go to JC Penny's. I had a lady who's business is called Bulkley Photography do them. I had a $100 gift card that I got from my doctors office. We also had to reschedule 4 times so she ended up giving me some free prints to make up for it, which is fine with me:) Because with out the gift card I wouldn't be able to afford her and without the deal I would have only been able to get a couple prints.
These are before she edited them. But I think they turned out amazing! There are only two that he is actually smiling, not from lack of trying though, she was great and didn't give up trying to get him to smile. He just doesn't smile for strangers sometimes.
I would totally go back to her, for special events, even though she is way out of my price range. But she moved back East a couple weeks after she took these:(
Posted by Jana at 3:41 PM
Friday, July 23, 2010
K for anyone that doesn't know me, I love to take pictures and there are two main reasons...
- I have the WORST MEMORY ever!
- ....?.....?........see I forget so fast I literally forgot what the other reason was that I wanted to put up here.....wait it is coming to me! Oh yes, I am INDECISIVE!
So now you know why so many pictures!
FYI- I don't think it's going to change any time soon either:)
Posted by Jana at 11:56 PM
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Thursday July 15, 2010
They have all of these old buildings that you can tour and then old fashion activities in most of them for the kids to do. It was like walking back in time it was really neat.
This is all of the kids
Steph, Braydon, Kate, Kelsey, Kenzie, Tyler, Colton, Kate, Keilei and baby Rush.
Tyler holding Rush. It was the first time they had met & Tyler was so cute with him!
Cousins-Kate, Tyler, Rush, & Keilei
Nichole, Kate, & tyler
washing clothes on a wash board, then ironing them with Kate
On the "train" that takes you to the next part of the park. Keilei would have just rode this all day she loved it.
Getting a tour of one of Brigham Young's houses. We didn't last too long before we had to take the kids outside. They found some horses to feed.
Keilei & Kate
random pics of my kids
We had lunch out front of The general store and got ice cream in the old hotel
The kids learned what it was like to go to school back then,
Keilei and her silky she takes it every where with her, Tyler helping Keilei stamp a design into leather.
Keilei riding a horse. She cried the whole time.
Nichole helping Kate & Keilei to get into the bunks in a mock ship
They had a little mini train you could take the kids on. This is the view, it was awesome, all the old houses are park of the park
goose on the train tracks, it kept following Keilei.
Keilei & Kate playing in the stream where you pan for gold
This is a snake that Keilei watched get a drink cause "It's thirsty" then the "snake went home"
My cute Rush sleeping
Keilei & Kate eating their suckers
Kate & Keilei
The kids in a old ZCMI carriage
showing us the candles they just made
the little play village, the girls in the firehouse
Rush playing with Tylers gun, the kid on the little playground train
Tyler playing with Rush.
We had dinner at a place up the canyon it was really good.
Then we said goodbye to Nichole & the kids. It was really good to see them. We hadn't seen them since before Rush was born so it was great. We miss them a lot.
Posted by Jana at 8:29 PM