Sunday, June 28, 2009

Is She Alive

The last couple of days I have started out my day wondering if Keilei was still alive and breathing. You see for the last 3 days she hasn't woken up until 10 or 10:30 am. She usually wakes up at 8:30 am. And since she is my alarm clock I have been waking up late checking the clock and then wondering if she is ok.
She is just fine of course, I think it is because we are starting to give her only one nap a day instead of two. That is the only thing I can think of. But I'm not complaining, being prego I'm always tired and love the extra sleep, even though I feel like half the day is gone. I'm going to have to start using an actual alarm clock if this continues:)

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Missing You

Four years ago today our family lost one of the three musketeers. Or at least that is how I
thought of my 3 brothers that where right older then me.
Nate, SPENCER, Sam

I had gotten home from my mission 3 months earlier and had promptly moved to AZ two weeks later. I was in Arizona working at Anasazi, where you hike troubled teens around in the wilderness teaching them survival skills. I was living with a mission companion. I had also been engaged for about 2 month and our wedding was in a little over a month in Logan.

On June 25 I was out "on the trail" literally in the middle of no where.

I had been out for 5 days and still had 3 days left of my shift. When "ridge walk"(a person in a suburban that stays in the area in case of emergency) hiked into our group and told me that I needed to call home. I left my group and we hiked a couple miles before he gave me the satellite phone. I don't know exactly what to expect I just thought it was kind of drama. I called home and my little brother Jeff answered and asked if I was alright I said yes a little confused and asked for Mom. She said that Spence had been in a wreck...the phone died! After about 3 more choppy calls I found out that my older brother Spencer had been in a car wreck that had taken his life. I couldn't believe it. I found out my bro Nate, who also lived in the same area I did, was waiting for me to get home. I hung up and it took me a while to collect myself. I was so scared to meet up with Nate. Nate and Spencer where so close and I thought as soon as I see him I am just going to lose it.

It was one of the longest days of my life. We had to hike another few miles, literally, to get to the truck and then around a 3 hour drive home. Most of it was through the mountains which was a reminder of Spencer the whole way home, not that I would have been thinking of anything else.
I finally arrived home to find Nate and Sean waiting for me. We got busy planning how we where all going to get up to Utah the next day. We went to Nate's house and ate and continued to plan with Micaela.

Sean came home with me and laid with me in silence while I cried and cried. Sean had never had anyone close to him pass away and didn't know what to say but I was so grateful just for his being there.

I can't believe it has been 4 years. At first I would kick myself so much for only staying at home for 2 weeks after my mission. I missed out on that time I could have spent with him. I was also disappointed that he wouldn't be there for my wedding. Now I am just grateful that I had such an amazing brother. He was intimidating to those who didn't know him, but would give you the shirt off his back and always had something funny to say. I miss how he would yell out random thing to pedestrians as we would drive by. He was an amazing artist. He loved his son Keenan. He was so protective of his car, even though it was a junker:)

Even now when a certain song comes on the radio or I go up the canyon or look at Keenan I can't help but tear up as if I he had just passed away. Recently I went to girls camp and it was in a canyon that I hadn't been in for about 10 years I couldn't help being solemn on the drive through the canyon, the last time I had been up that canyon was camping with Spencer. I used to go up that canyon and camp with my brothers and shoot.

Todd, Nate, SPENCER, Me, Jeff, Sam

Spencer with Keenan

He was so like Mom he loved playing in the water.

We all Miss you and Love you Big Bro

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Don't Forget to Bless the Food

Half of my family was at the dinner table and had just started eating. Keilei was there with us and when I looked to check on her she was standing on the bench with her arms folded, waiting patiently. I got every ones attention and we quickly said a blessing on the food. Keilei stood there with her arms folded the whole time till we were done.
A couple hours later the second half of my family was eating dinner and the same thing happened, Keilei also reminded them they needed to say a prayer. But this time when the prayer was over Keilei started clapping her hands.
It was so cute and I was so proud of her. I was also amazed at what little tiny kids notice it amazes me.

Swimming Fun

Keilei and I went to the pool on Monday. There was a breeze so when you got out of the water it was pretty cold. But it ended up a good thing, it kept Keilei from running around she stayed in the water! She kept walking to the deeper part of the pool. She would just keep walking till she was underwater and then get mad at me for pulling her to the shallow part again. She would also say Hi to people and then when she past them she would say Bye.
Keilei's cousin Keenan came and played with us for the last half an hour.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Happy Father's Day to Pops

I think my Dad is the most amazing person! There is no question that he is a great Dad. First off he has 13 kids!!! and he loves us all. I have always looked up to my Dad. His I'm disappointed speech would make more of an impact on me than any punishment I was given. I loved that he had fathers interviews with us. I always loved that time even if I had nothing to say. I always felt that I could ask Dad anything. I was/am always interested in his option especially when it came to thing like school, jobs, art and church. I remember that when I was a kid I thought he was a doctor and told people he was because he was so smart and could fix anything and took care of us when we were sick. I loved showing things that I had done to him like art I had drawn or papers I had done he never just said "that's good" or "good job" he took the time to actual cratic (s/p?)it and point out specifics and make me feel like I had done something amazing. He also made me feel like I could always be better then I was and that God would bless me for trying. I have always loved learning from him. I have always had an interest in the things he had/has to teach me whether it be about him growing up, history, military stuff, nature, or anything really. I love when he reads the Book of Mormon to us. Something about his voice and the way he reads it I just love fact I have Sean read to me instead of me reading because I loved it when my Dad did it, but it of course is not the same. I am so grateful to be blessed with such a great Dad.
This is one of my all time favorite pictures
We where in Yellowstone area on vacation and he was teaching me about a rock we had found
I love this picture because it is my everyday parents this is what I see when I picture then in my mind

My Pops with my Mom and me fall '08

I have always known my parents love each other. I honestly can't remember a single time that I have heard them fight.

I am so glad that Keilei gets to know her grandpa, the man I have always looked up to, even if she isn't all that interested yet unless he has a toy or a marshmallow to give her:)

Happy Fathers Day

I can't imagine being married to a better man. He is an amazing father!
He helps to put Keilei down every night that he is home and loves it.
He teaches Keilei to fly

He reads her a bedtime story
Teaches her to walk

Is always there to help her
By example teaches her to stand up for things that are important

and to help others when you can

He puts up with my huge crowd of a family cause he knows Keilei and I both love being around them, not that he doesn't he just doesn't like crowds
Teaches her to give kisses...and is still trying to teach her how to say I Love You!

He plans great vacations, fun little trips, and things for us to do

and loves sharing his passions

He lets Keilei rub her cookies all over him, because she finds it entertaining:)

He will chase her around and help her in the jungle gym, when mom is to nauseous to play

He will even give her a bath, which is pretty much the only thing he hates doing. He will do it anyway when I don't feel well.

He takes Keilei to the park and to feed the ducks

And makes sure she doesn't climb into the river...which she would do!
And as much of a strain as it is on him, he will sit and watch a show with her:)
Not to leave out he came with me to almost all of Keilei's baby doctor appointments
He also changed all the her diapers but 1 for the whole first week,
He took a month off from work when Keilei was born to help me and to spend time with Keilei,

He came with me to the ultra sound appointment for baby #2 because he really wanted to be there.

Not really last and definitely not least but Sean also loves me!!! and I think that is a VERY important thing not only to me but to make sure that our kids know that we truly LOVE and respect each other not just now but for always! That is a vital part of being an amazing father, which Sean is!

Friday, June 19, 2009

Girls Camp

First off I want to say why the heck was it planned in June?
Don't people realize it rains in the mountains in June!

First day(Tues): Good! Except I only got 3 hrs of sleep! To no ones fault, I just couldn't sleep.
Second day(wens): Good! Have one leaky tent and some girl drama. Sean was with us all day as Priesthood leader. I decided to go home after dinner and sleep in my bed, so I wouldn't get a headache. Rained all that night.
Third day(Thurs): Rain...hail...Rain some more! Have three leaking tents, a broken tent zipper, camping in a ankle deep mud swamp, a sick leader w/an infant, and two others who want to go home to see their babies(I'm one of those). We, with the hoorays of the girls pack up, have dutch oven dinner YUM! stay for the stake "walk of light" and then head for home.
Forth day(Fri): Wake up in my nice warm bed next to my amazing husband:)

Our first day was good, here is me with all the girls
top left to right:Hailey, Jesse, Sabrina, Alli, Holly
middle: Christina, Marnae, Annie, Leslie, Elena, Mariah
front: Caitlin, Kat, Sara, Me, Kylie
After the first day this is what it looked like

On Wednesday it was Sabrina's birthday
The next pictures are of our wards skit
All of us around the camp fire (after we had let the chairs dry)

tinfoil dinners, Sean and another priesthood leader and girls getting some cake
The stake pavilion under which we spent most of our time
It was a really pretty area

Dutch oven dinner...SO GOOD!
You can barely see her but Megan(one of the camp leader, who happens to look 16) sat down to eat dinner and said "Somebody sit by me" There are 5 girls rushing to be at her side! It was hilarious, not that I blame them she is an amazing chica.

Megan(the leader:) and Sara trying to stay warm aren't they cute

Do you see the mud pit we are in...all the trails and the campsites where like that too
Annie arranging stuff in the trailer and Marnae helping pack so we could go home. Don't let the sun in the background deceive you. We had just talked about how we had just finished packing and then the sun shows up, go figure!
Holly, Annie, & Marnae- isn't that sweet
FYI- I did have a good time and I am glad I got to go and spend that time with the girls. We just all wished the rain had let up.